Well folks, throw away your Bibles. We don’t need them anymore thanks to “Whole Tones”. Now with “Whole Tones” you, yes YOU can learn the “7 Amazing New “Musical Tones” Found To Relieve Stress… Promote Healing… Break Negative Cycles… and Restore Sound Sleep… in Minutes.”
Why bother with those pesky Scriptures that require study and constant reading? Now, with “Whole Tones” you can by-pass the Bible and go right to the “7 Secret Frequencies Uncovered in the Music of King David” himself!
And don’t let the fact that this crap is “New Age” bother you! We’ve covered up our “New Age” terminology with good ole Christian jargon, so you don’t have to fear that annoying little conscience of yours.
What do you get with your $49.00, or $99.00 package? Glad you asked! Here’s what you get:
1. “Wipe out your unhealthy fears, drop feelings of guilt and shame, and show you how you can help restore your liver, brain, and kidney functions…(SONG 1, 396Hz)”
2. “Remove the recurring, negative cycles in your life like procrastination, addiction, and junk food…watch as sluggishness and lethargy disappear and productivity and creativity increase…enhance your digestion, ease stomach issues, balance your metabolism, and erase headaches and lower back pain…(SONG 2, 417Hz)”
3. “Discover the Master Key that precipitates all other frequencies. You’ll feel soothed by its multiple health benefits as you’re tenderly enveloped in peace. This is the very same frequency David used to soothe King Saul’s depression…(SONG 3, 444Hz )”
4. “Hear the most curious frequency of all… it has the power to relax you… transform your stress into peaceful bliss. Creating the ideal environment for your body to repair hormonal imbalances, ease muscle tension, and release troubles of circulation… (SONG 4, 528Hz)”
5. “Enjoy the fostering of peace and forgiveness in all your relationships. Also known to positively affect the endocrine system – particularly gall bladder and adrenal issues…(SONG 5, 639Hz)”
6. “Gain a keen awareness of your very own spirit in this powerful yet delicately performed miracle of healing. Experience deep spiritual and emotional healing while cleansing your immune system of common infections. Super-charge your circulatory system to support your healthy heart and blood flow…(SONG 6, 741Hz)”
7. “Revel in the frequency that celebrates the King of Kings. Purely spiritual – connect in the worship of God, His love for humankind, and His return to those who await Him…(SONG 7, 852Hz)”
“Best of all…Some listeners have reported almost automatic healing … one in as little as 22 minutes!”
Even “Pastix” Paula White is getting in on the action.
So why bother with the Scriptures when we have “Whole Tunes?”
2 Peter 2:1-3 (ESV) But false prophets also arose among the people, just as there will be false teachers among you, who will secretly bring in destructive heresies, even denying the Master who bought them, bringing upon themselves swift destruction. And many will follow their sensuality, and because of them the way of truth will be blasphemed. And in their greed they will exploit you with false words. Their condemnation from long ago is not idle, and their destruction is not asleep